Sharing Wisdom amongst Women

It is almost the end of yet another year. During this time many of us reflect upon the year past and what might be in store for us in the year ahead. For my family it has been a year of what most would consider immense sadness and fear. Our youngest son Austin, age 5 was diagnosed with Retinoblastoma in October 2009. During his journey, he lost his right eye to cancer and was treated with six months of chemotherapy. Aside from this we were also faced with several other challenges that would cause most to willingly commit themselves to four white walls. Those of you who know me personally have often commented on my strength and joy during this time. This I consider my “past”. A new year is dawning and with it comes a new discovery of “what I want to do when I grow up”. LOL!


When I was “free” to be a normal mom again and reopened my coaching business I realized that my coaching practice needed the expert advice of a business coach. During this process I discovered my heart. Not only is it for coaching women, but women who’s lives have been touched by cancer. I want to share the many tools that I have discovered that helped me maintain the strength and joy during my son’s fight with cancer. I have created an amazing program that will help other women journey through the challenges of cancer yet sustain an inner peace and heartfelt joy. I have also established retreats for “moms of children with cancer”. The first retreat will be held in January at the Caring Cabin owned by the CCA.


I have been blessed with many words of wisdom which brings me to you. I have a request for the New Year. I would be honored to trade services with a woman who’s life has been touched by cancer. I need to have my existing website changed to Wordpress utilizing the existing design. I would donate my time, a journal and new hope to a woman and would appreciate her time to update my website to Wordpress. If you feel that you are to help, even if your life has not been touched by cancer and still would appreciate coaching I am open to this as well.


As we begin the New Year together in spirit I encourage you to always begin your day with this question: At this moment, what is good, beautiful or funny? This is one tool I utilized each day with Austin. We chose to start our day with goodness.


With Gratitude and Joy and Abundant Blessings for the New Year!


Sharla Vellek

Labyrinth - A Meditative Practice

Before I share my story I wished to include information about the labyrinth.

“Unlike mazes, labyrinths have a single path, no dead ends, and one way in and out.  But the process of proceeding in and out of a labyrinth is surprisingly profound. "Embedded within each design is a pattern that somehow quiets our deep inner being so we can hear our own wisdom and the wisdom attempting to reach us. Whether walked or traced in sand, the labyrinth pattern is a powerful tool for reflection, meditation, realignment, and deeper knowledge of the Self."

 The eleven-circuit labyrinths include the circular design of the Chartres Cathedral, whose design is from the tradition of the Knights Templar, which according to legend was carried from King Solomon’s temple to France.  There is even speculation that Chartres -- noted for having the distinction of no one being buried within the cathedral -- is also the final resting place of the Ark of the Covenan

I have been on a journey in the last two years of learning about the labyrinth. My early study was by Kathleen McGowan.  I fell in love with the Chartres through her writings. When I began to read “The Sacred Path” I was overjoyed! Kathleen wrote a beautiful book on The Lord’s Prayer and how it correlates with the petals of the labyrinth. “In THE SOURCE OF MIRACLES: Seven Steps to Transforming Your Life Through the Lord’s Prayer, McGowan uses the ancient spiritual practice of walking the labyrinth to guide the reader through the process. At the center of the labyrinth is the Rose with Six Petals, and each petal of the flower corresponds to a teaching of the prayer: faith, surrender, service, abundance, forgiveness, and conquering obstacles. The center of the flower represents the essence of wellspring of love, as love is the uniting factors in all aspects of our lives.”  When I read the instructions for the assignment, my first thought was, “I have to walk a Chartres Labyrinth.”  I was delighted to find one close to my home!  

The sky was grey, the air dense with recent rain and cold. I was bundled and warm.  As I stood at the entrance to the labyrinth I was silent, my eyes closed, breathing, breathing, attempting to clear my mind of my racing day, knowing that my intent is to release bondage of money, a bondage of poverty that has been in my family for generations. My intent is to release this bond and leave its capture by the time I enter the center, to no longer return to it. My intent is to no longer be captured by it’s haunting shadow that causes so much distress, anxiety, worry, sadness. . . . the list of shadows are many.   My hope in exchange is to have enough money to give away.  I do not ask to be wealthy, just enough to live off of sot the rest I can give to help others.  As I take the first step in to the labyrinth I am apprehensive, never walking a labyrinth and wondering if it will really work – I quickly release this thought from my mind, leaving it behind with each footstep.   I begin to hear music, “Oh, precious is the flow, that makes me white as snow No other fount I know  nothing but the blood of Jesus, nothing but the blood of Jesus”.  I sensed an angel had come to sing to me. I realized it is only through the blood of Jesus Christ, His death that releases us from bondage. My bonds broke free as this new truth came in to replace it.  I walked with those thoughts, with that song in my mind. Thankful to Him, so ever thankful. As I continued walking, slowly, intently breathing, continuing to release and be thankful another angel came to sing to me. This time it was,

“Fall on me ever so gently washing, washing my filthy stains. Shower me in your love Breathe on, breathe on these dry bones, these dry bones and break these chains And break these chains  Set me free, Set me free, Set me free Lord,  Set me free.”     As I listened I realized I was being set free from my thoughts of bondage under money.  I continued walking, listening, accepting a new identity.  I would occasionally pause at each turn, breathing, releasing, accepting this new truth.   As I came to the center I paused and prayed. I thanked Him first for being there on this walk with me. Then I thanked Him for being ever so present in my life and being there when I needed Him.  I entered and stood, just focusing on breath.  Silence.  Then I began my return.  Slowly returning,  straightening, feeling empowered.  A new angel, a new song came to visit. This time, “Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.  Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.  If you're tired and you are thirsty there is freedom.  If you're tired and you are thirsty there is freedom.  Freedom reigns in this place.  Showers of mercy and grace, falling on every face, there is freedom.”  Ah, such sweetness. Then a realization. . . . . I recently had a money change with my husband. It placed him in a position of authority, something I had wanted for a long time.  I also realized that I was being released from managing the money so that I could focus on my gifting of coaching women.  I was being released in other ways beyond the generational bondage of money.  I really felt “lighter”.   Freedom. . . . .  as I looked up I saw a squirrel, it’s back high, regal, with a nut in its mouth. I immediately thought of myself and how I felt, like the physical aspect of the squirrel, it’s back high, regal (thus the straightening and empowerment)  yet my husband was the active part of the squirrel, the gatherer for things to come, the saver and provider for its family.  I almost found it funny.  I continued my walk being thankful for the symbolic picture that was given to me.  Again, slowly, breathing, always focusing on my breath to help keep my mind clear, I looked up to see a tree that had lost most of its leaves.  The leaf I noticed right away was red and in the shape of a heart.  I thought – WOW,  that is so like what I am supposed to be doing with my life.  Coaching women who have lost so much of themselves – focusing on their hearts, finding love again for themselves. Learning to nurture themselves, not just others.   I had to restrain myself from stepping out of the labyrinth to pick that particular leaf.  I had to be intentional about not thinking about the leaf from that point on because I did not want the wind to take it away from my much needed grasp.  It was symbolic.  As I continued my walk, my back continued to get straighter, my breathing easier, my confidence and thankfulness surmounting.  I stopped at the entrance, the entrance to my initial request – that of releasing the money bondage in my family that has been passed down from generation to generation.  What was so sweet was that God gave me an extra gift during my journey of release.  A gift of my husband as a provider and caretaker of money. 
For labyrinths in your area, please check out this website: http://labyrinthlocator.com/


Much love, peace and joy to all of you!


Sharla

Faith, Joy, Peace, Love

One year ago today we were home, our mind's restless. Our 4 year old son, Austin was diagnosed with either Retinoblastoma or Coates Disease.  As a parent, how can one be given a potentially life threatening diagnoses of a child without flipping out?   I was numb. Or did I cry? I remember desperately trying to focus on only what is, not what could be. So what is, was Coates Disease or Retinoblastoma. My husband and I made an agreement to only research and focus on the topic at hand.  I remember as a child all I did was focus on the future. "What if?." I remember the feelings of depression, headaches, tears, sadness and loneliness that came with "what if".  Why as a child did I always over analyze everything? As I thought about the diagnosis that was given, I thought the one thing I can not do, is think about, "what it could be".  Today it is about living in the moment. It is about finding the positive in each moment.  I also knew that I could not question, "Why Austin".  I had to find FAITH.  God was in control this time, not me. One of the first blessings God gave to me this time was a dream. Long story short, the dream would sustain me throughout Austin's cancer. It gave me the ending to the story.  How many of us know the ending to our stories? God was super clear with me. In the end of our "turbulent waters" Austin would be ok.  Now as a mom you still freak out. I had many moments of falling apart anywhere and everywhere. I learned that the cancer community is large (sadly) and there was more than one occasion when the checker in my grocery line would stop and pray for me. She did not care how long the line was behind me or what her boss would say. She was not thinking of the "what if", she was living in the very moment.

We did learn Austin had ,Retinoblastoma a childhood eye cancer. A few weeks later, I heard the word JOY in my head. It was quite clear and I heard it more than once so I knew. I knew that somehow I was supposed to find Joy in each moment. Crazy. That's what I said, but what I knew was that I had to listen. My mind said one thing, my heart said another.  So Austin and I found many joyful moments. We nicknamed the chemo machine, we played video games with the doctors, we got his nurses to make crazy faces for photographs, we had cakefights on and on. I later realized that there is a scripture that says, "The Joy of the Lord is my Strength. God knew that if I were to find Joy, it would give us strength.

A year has passed. A year full of so many, many tears, yet a year filled with so much joy. Today Austin was given a thumb's up, all clear in his good eye. We go back in 3 months. This is routine and will be for awhile. We also have Brain MRI's and blood work every six months to check for cancer.  I look back at how much I have learned in the last year. One of the most important is to not get ahead of myself. We often wish for a better relationship with our spouse, we wish we could be more patient with our children, we wish we had more me time. I wish I did not have to face this every 3 months, the not knowing.  If only we stopped wishing and started focusing on each moment you would be amazed at how much more focused you are in creating peace in your life. We are no longer overwhelmed with all that needs to happen or what you want to happen. We can simply focus on what needs to happen in the moment. A moment of joy, a moment of peace, we can then truly appreciate the time we have with each person.

Sea of Tears

I had the honor of attending a private event Saturday evening. Jessica Ketola sang 10 of her songs from her new album "Sea of Tears" for a group of 25 people.  As I listened to her introduce the evening with her story and begin her first song, I could not help but cry.  I thought of all the women out there that need to hear what she has to say. Not only was her music soulful and authentic, it was from her heart. She understands. She is willing to bare her soul and allow God's grace to shine through. As I continued to listen it seemed as though each song touched a part of my life in some deep awe inspiring way.  I truly am looking forward to the album release. Jessica has spent the last few years being a mom and working while her husband attended grad school. Her dream had been set aside to give LOVE to those she LOVES most. Two years ago God decided to give her a little present for all of her hard work. Not only that  - it gave her courage and hope to follow her dream.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYTEy9Pn--s

http://jessicaketola.com/home.cfm 

I decided to write about this today as she is a beautiful example of what most of us moms experience. We dream of that big white gown, children, dream boat of a husband. . . . .reality becomes something different. As moms a lot of us  give so much of our selves, we lose sight of ourselves and in the midst of that we also realize that our childhood is haunting us. We begin to swim, in deep dark waters. Yet, our dreams are still there somewhere. Our hope of being a confident, beautiful, successful woman is still there. . . . . so how do we accomplish what Jessica has done? How do we continue focusing on ourselves and focus on our family's needs? AND focus on the haunting of a childhood? For all of us these emotions are different.  What I do know, is that when we give LOVE, not just to your family, but to others, it comes back to us. It can't help but bounce back and say, I want you to experience this too.  It might say, you have some fine tuning to do. . . .but I still LOVE you. When we feel LOVE, we feel empowered. When we feel empowered, it is then that we can reach our dreams.